Monday, August 7, 2017
The Emoji Movie Review
One of the many things they do not tell you when you become a parent is how much of your personal free time you have to give up. Yes, there are the constant dances and games and practice you have to truck them to, but there is a more sinister time thief than extracurricular activities. That time thief is your television and movie watching.
You see now that you have kids( if you are a responsible parent), you are forced to watch children's television and movies whenever you spend time together as a family. As much as you would like to watch Logan or Deadpool, exposing your child to that much violence and sexuality is a good way to get DCFS called on your lazy parenting ass.
As my kids have gotten older, I have progressed from watching Cailou, to the Backyardigans, to the Little Einsteins, and Doc McStuffins. More presently, they ( and I ) are watching Teen Titans Go and Spongebob. As a parent, you watch most of this stuff with an eye on the clock waiting for it to end so you can send them to bed. Your other eyes checks for the show and from time to time there is an adult laugh to be found on these shows made for children. Really, as a parent, this us one of those harmless sacrifices you have to make to be a parent.
All that being said, when my daughter asked me to watch the Emoji movie, I really considered taking her down to the adoption agency( just kidding..mostly). I had seen the stupid low score on Rotten Tomatoes and I had seen the commercials- which really just focused on the poop emoji. My thought that someone pitched this movie idea AND the movie got made was literally beyond my levels of comprehension. We live in a world, tho where an Angry Birds Movie made money and soon the Rock will be starring in a movie based on Rampage the video game so nothing should surprise anyone. Sadly, Daddy's girls can get their Daddy's to do damn near anything so I carved out time for she and I to watch this movie.
Truth serum up front... I did not pay money to see this movie. That is all I am gonna say about that. The movie itself...its as bad as the reviews say... maybe even worse. The movie revolves around the meh emoji and his first day at work as an emoji. Emoji's are only to express their one characteristic- yet our star can express multiple emotions like he is a glitch in the system. The movie borrows this concept heavily from the Bee Movie but just awfully.
Of course, something goes wrong when the Emoji is called upon and the phone glitches and the rest of the movie is spent with the Emoji trying to make things right. Pretty much every smart phone cliche is used from a character named Jailbroke who is free of the system, to stops in the delete folder, riding sound waves across Spotify, Spam slowing the Emoji's down, and Bots chasing the heroes. In the hands of creative people, there is probably a smart movie to be made about emoji's, but this movie goes for all the low hanging fruit for jokes and even the obvious ones are still not funny. There is no real heart or emotion you often get with other Disney or Pixar movies. Each attempt to make you even think about caring is drowned out by more unfunny jokes.
Its really just an unfunny mess of a movie that should've never been made. Yet the movie made money and why is that? Because Parents love their children. Parents will pop popcorn with their 11 year old daughter and sit and watch this awfulness out of love for spending time with their child. Its a sacrifice that must be made. My daughter is never going to remember this actual movie, but she will remember that I took 2 hours out of my schedule to sit and watch it with her.
Overall, I would give it 1/2 star. There are no jokes in that movie that will make adults laugh and very few that will make kids laugh. Just flat out terrible all around.
The Producer
Friday, August 4, 2017
Not at Comic Con Comic Con Review
While Big Hutch was getting his swerve on out in San Diego for Comic Con, the kids and I jumped in the car and headed 90 minutes south to Tate's Comics for their Not at Comic Con Comic Con event. This is the 8th year of the event, but the first time I was able to attend since I moved back to Florida.
The premise behind the event is that Comic Con is a nerd paradise but only so many people get a chance to attend. NACC allows the customers of Tate's to have a little fun pretending to be at Comic Con.
The event began at 12 and my kids and I got there early- maybe around 11:00. We looked to be 3rd in line. There was news there was gonna be swag bags for the first 500 customers and we wanted to make sure we got one. The doors of the store opened at 11;00 but the line outside the store was not the line for comic con. Customers had to walk through the store until 12 and then around that time- at a place unknown to the customers, the Line to Nowhere would begin.
We were 3rd outside |
In that hours time, I wondered the store looking at all the goodies Tate's has to offer. I have been coming to this store since 1996. I've seen it grow from two different locations into literally one of the finest comic book stores in the United States. I even had a great conversation with Tate before the event began. I had not consistently been in the store in over 10 years and Tate still remembered me and that kind of personal service and relationship is not found in every comic book store.
As the clock tick-tocked, we happened past a small nook in the store and this was the beginning to the Line to Nowhere. We hustled in quick and wound up being 12th in line. Not first but definitely in line to get our swag bag on.
My Line to Nowhere Peeps |
Once the Line to NoWhere began to move, we picked up our bags and headed over to another event being held in the Tate's Gaming Satellite. This portion of the Con held many local artist who were drawing for the fans in attendance. The store also had a Comic trivia contest going on, as well as the premiere of the Tate's Comics movie. The swag bag consisted of comics and other nerdly knick knacks. My glow in the dark tesseract sits in my office! Thanks Tate's!
There were many cosplayers all around- from little kids, to big kids, and to even dogs were all dressed up for the event.
I'm in this collage |
At the end of the event, there was a cosplay parade and a big photo shoot of all the cosplayers in front of the store. This was really an awesome event to attend with my kids. I was able to catch up on some comics, see some old friends, and enjoy this nerd awesomeness without having to fly to California.
Honestly just a wonderful experience for me and my kids. If you live in South Florida, I would highly recommend Not at Comic Con Comic Con! And also make Tate's Comics your source for all things nerdly!
The Producer
Game of Thrones Season 2 and 3 recap podcast
@brothascomics is getting you caught up for Game of Thrones Season 7. We recap seasons 2 and 3 tonight touching on the Mother of Dragons, The Lannisters evil deeds, the torture of poor Theon Greyjoy and how evil Ramsay Bolton is. And of course we deal with our feelings about the Red Wedding and how the Producer almost stopped watching the show! Great listen with The Producer, Brother Beavis, and The Sandman
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Game of Thrones Season 1 Recap Podcast
brothascomics gets you ready for season 7 of Game of Thrones with our Game of Thrones Season 1 recap. We talk our introduction to the series, examine the season through each house and family, and debate who won season 1 of Game of Thrones. Brother Beavis runs point and is joined by the Producer. Check back later this week for the Season 2 recap!
The Producer
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Game of Thrones Season 7, Ep 1 Podcast
BrothasComics is back with their episode by recaps of Game of Thrones Season 7, episode 1: Dragon Glass. The crew returns to Westeros and checks back in on the final season of Game of Thrones. Grand Matser Beavis hosts Big Hutch, Female Perspective, and the Sandman. Always entertaining recap show. Grab a glass of meed and join!
The Producer
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Tuesday, August 1, 2017
Every Black Person on Game of Thrones
Before we get too far into this, I have to say that I am a late comer to Game of Thrones. I just began watching the show in 2017- after years of urging from my friends and family. Overall, I am just not a huge fan of medieval set pieces. I mean knights and kings and all that are cool, but those pieces are always lacking diversity beyond tokenism and has never really appealed to me.
I am not sure why I finally gave into watching Game of Thrones. I heard about the nudity which I am a fan of, but I can get nudity on the Internet in a second if I needed it. More than anything, I think I was just tired of hearing people tell me how good the show was and felt I needed to at least give it a try before saying, " I don't like it".
Long story short, I love the show. My tag line has been come for the nudity, stay for the drama- which it delivers in tons week after week. Character development, exciting plots, and hell yes DRAGONS. Once I started watching it, I was mad that I denied myself this pleasure for the past six years.
All that said, it is striking the lack of diversity on the show. And the diversity that it does present, plays upon existing stereotypes of people of color. For example, the Dothraki who are people of color led by Kal Drago, are presented as savages who rape, loot, and murder all their conquered people. I noticed this right away watching the show and it makes you cringe. Mind you this is a show that has an incest scene within the first 30 minutes and that was less cringe worthy than our first look at people of color as savages.
This all comes up currently because the producers of Game of Thrones on HBO have presented their first post GoT idea to HBO. Its a show called Confederate ( yeah , I know). The show premise is based on an idea that the South won the Civil War... in fact it has won 2 Civil Wars and its getting ready for a third. And slavery has become an institution in the United States.
Of Course the backlash for this idea was met swiftly. Black folks and many others felt this re-imagined history is wrong- especially under the current political environment where Nazism in THE United States is now coddled under code words such as Alt-Right and Nationalism. Boycotts of HBO have been bandied about which forced the producers of the show to try and get in front of the press. The producers of said show want viewers to "give it a chance" and even trotted out two Black producers on the show who they think will make sure the show is respectful to the subject manner.
My feelings on this have not changed since I heard it... this is a terrible idea. We do not need to see a show where the South won 2 Civil Wars and Black folks are in servitude to whites and in chains- whether those chains are real or imagined. They can say whatever they want about how it will be presented, the two Black producers, etc... This will not turn out well, no matter how they try to spin the narrative.
This got me thinking tho about how they have handled Black people of Game of Thrones. It took me a minute to think of actually SEEING Black characters on the show because they are so rare. Again, you see more Dragons than Black people. That's a little more than troubling.
So I went to IMDB and got my scroll on. Now a show that large, with 6 plus seasons has a ton of cast members and from all of those seasons, I came up with 6 Black people who have had speaking roles on the show. You will see a common thread amongst them and this should give any person pause to think 2 white dudes- no matter how well intentioned- will come in with biases towards the primary subjects in Confederacy.
Missandei
She is Hand Maiden to Khalessi, The Queen of Dragons, Daenerys Targaryen--the lady got alot of titles. But her upbringing was as a slave and interpreter and even tho she has become a "trusted" voice for Daenery's, she was a slave.
Grey Worm
Leader of the Unsullied- a group of Slave soldiers who are eunuchs who are bred to fight and kill. Grey Worm has also risen the ranks under Daenery's but again, he started off as a slave and remains one in his loyalty to the Unsullied and the Queen. His loving relationship with Missandei is great but he has also been emasculated.
Areo Hotah
Bodyguard of Prince Doran Martell, the leader of Dorne. Although not a slave, he is in a servants role as the royal bodyguard. Hotahs motto is to: Serve, Protect, Obey... that kinda sounds like a slaves motto....
Salladhor Saan
Pirate. Recruited by Ser Davos to help with ships in the Battle of the Blackwater for Stannis Barratheon. He is not a slave. Just a thief.
Malko
Slave trader wandering the lands of Westeros looking for people to capture and sell. Probably most known for selling Jorah into slavery to Mereen and wanting to cut the dick of of Tyrion the dwarf because he heard an dwarfs dick bring you good luck.
Xaro Daxos
Xaro said he was the wealthiest man in Qarth, but he was actually just a hustler who had no real assests and when it was found out that he had nothing, he was sentenced to die in the vault of empty gold that he lied about. Not a slave tho, just a liar.
So we can breakdown all the Black people on Game of Thrones to either slaves, former slaves, liars, and cheats. We could also talk about the colorism of Missandrei and her glass ceiling with the Queen. We can talk about the lack of any other Black Women of note in Westeroes. We can talk about 7 kingdoms with no real people of color ruling. Hell,if you wanna get real, we can talk about how a white woman freed all the slaves. As great as this show is, these are all very real issues that happen on Game of Thrones, yet people want us to trust that the producers of Confederate are going to be fair in the handling of Black people, slavery, and white supremacy? Man get out of my face with that mess!
If somehow the United States had ever dealt with the depth of horror and injustices of chattel slavery in the United States, maybe , and I mean maybe, a show like this could exist; although I would argue if the United States had dealt with the ramifications of slavery and its aftermath, no one would want to make or watch a show like Confederate. But the United States never did. The United States is still a country that has citizens fly a rebel/traitorous flag daily, honors the birthdays of Confederate "heroes", and protest the removal of monuments that celebrate "heroes" of the confederacy. This county looks to demphasize the atrocities of slavery by calling slaves immigrants and debating how harsh slave life was, and romanticizing the childhood rape of Sally Hemmings by an American president.
So forgive me and people when we say, "To hell with Confederate" and "To hell with the producers and HBO" for thinking anyone would or should see a show in celebration of White Supremacy.
April Reign (@aprilreign), creator of the #OscarsSoWhite, created a #NOCONFEDERATE to let the producers and HBO know that this show is not needed or wanted. The # was used during Game of Thrones this weekend and was the #1 trending # during Game of Thrones. Of course, April and others, were greeted with the typical response from people that Black people are practicing "censorship" or we are "stifling creativity" or "judging the show before it comes on" and my personal favorite " just give it a chance". All the while ignoring the reasoning behind why Confederate is a horrific idea.
Even through all this negative press-HBO and the producers behind this show- continue to move forward with this project. Even the president of HBO has come out and said the show will move forward even as a large portion of their viewing audience rejects the idea and the premise. It sadly proves a point that marginalized peoples pain is often just entertainment for white people and they will defend their right to watch us humiliated under the guise of free speech. I truly hope this show never happens and people come to their senses, but history of this country and the history behind Game of Thrones doesn't give me much hope.
The Producer
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Astonishing X-Men #1 Review
As part of the X-men relaunch this past spring, X-Ressurxion.... most of the attention was focused on the relaunch of X-Men Blue and X-Men Gold. X-Men Blue is the time displaced, original X-Men team- led by Jean Grey in the field and Magneto playing the role as mentor/leader of the young mutants.
X-Men Gold, is the New Classic X-Men team- led by Kitty Pryde, but featuring most of the stars of the Giant Size X-Men with Storm, Nightcrawler, Colossus, and Old Man Logan( Wolverine)
We did a review of each of the books on a podcast which you can find below. Listen, follow, subscribe :)
X-Men Blue and X-Men Gold Review
Beyond those two books, there was going to be another X-Men book that was going to launch must later that featured more of the 90's X-Men called Astonishing X-Men. This team would feature Psylocke, Gambit, Rogue, Bishop, and of course, Old Man Logan( Wolverine) because for some reason Wolverine has to be in every damn thing.
Astonishing X-Men #1 pivots on a story that many of the world telepaths have come under attack by an unknown source. Psylocke, one of the most powerful telepath, is able to stop the unknown attacker from taking over her mind by manifesting her power to repel the attack and summon a group of X-Men to her aide.
Of course, her powers are out of control from defending herself and this newly banded team of X-Men with Fantomex and Archangel, move into power Psylocke down.
Once the situation is under control. Psylocke informs them that long time X-Nemesis The Shadow King is back- even tho he has been presumed long dead. The plan is for this new X-team to go to the astral plane to confront the Shadow King before his plot to rule the world comes to fruition. Standard comic book stuff.
Once Psylocke opens the Astral Plane, the Shadow King notices they are there and begins dialoguing aloud about his plot and plan and the book ends on a major spoiler which I will reveal underneath my signature below.
Overall the book was ok. I think how much you enjoy this book will be determined on when you began reading X-Men. X-Men Blue, even tho its set in modern time is the classic X-Men team of teenagers who are figuring out their powers and their place in the world. And if you started reading those books first, you will probably enjoy that book more. X-Men Gold is the Classic Giant Size X-Men team and if you read those books first, you will enjoy that teams adventures. But if you began reading comics in the 90's and enjoyed the X-Men cartoon, this book is probably more your jam than the other two books.
I enjoyed the first issue and this group. Starting the book with a standard, X-Villain is fine enough but the biggest problem with the X-Men over the last 10-plus years is their inability to establish new and credible villains that people cared about. I am hoping there is a move away from some of the classic villains, but that is not how modern comics work so...
But a good start overall and I will definitely check out the next few issues.
The Producer
Game of Thrones Season 7, Ep 3 podcast
Brothascomics Game of Thrones podcast is back this week with season 7, episode 3. In this episode, Jon Snow wont bow the knee, Tyrion is not a great military planner, Euron Greyjoy must be Poseidon, and Olenna Tyrell goes out in the most gansta way possible. Also who are the winners and losers for the week! Full brothascomics crew this week. Hosted by Brother Beavis, along with Big Hutch, Sandman, Female Perspective, and the Producer.
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Going out like a G: Game of Thrones Podcast
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Going out like a G: Game of Thrones Podcast
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